Is Fear Keeping You From Starting Or Upleveling Your Business?
Is it keeping you from having the kind of relationships you truly want?
Is it keeping you stuck in a situation you aren’t happy with?
Is it keeping you from traveling, creating art or otherwise living the life you want?
I recently put this question out to a Facebook group:
What Do You Need To Let Go Of?
The response was eye-opening.
I’ve put out other questions in the group and rarely do I get more than a few comments. This question, however, yielded nearly 100 responses, and the OVERWHELMING answer was Fear.
And, most of the other answers were also fear, just dressed up as something else.
FEAR IS A MOTHERFUCKER.
That’s right. I said it.
Fear keeps us stuck and robs us of our ability to live in joy and freedom. Fear sucks the life right out of us and keeps us in our tired little boxes. Fear encourages us to keep to ourselves and reject anyone who doesn’t fit into our preconceived notions of who we should associate ourselves with. Fear keeps us from starting new things, and keeps us from finishing what we start.
For so many of us, the call to entrepreneurship is loud and clear, but often goes ignored. We want to build something, but it’s just too scary.
Is there something you’re longing to do but you just can’t seem to get going? Or, you are stuck because fear has you in its grips and won’t let go so you can move forward?
It’s time to kick that shit to the curb.
False Evidence Appearing Real.
Or, fuck everything and run, depending on the situation. So really, if there isn’t a zombie chasing you or an airline employee standing over you, you’ve got nothing to worry about.
We rationalize our lack of action with damn good reasons why our dreams just won’t work.
Most of the stuff we’re afraid of isn’t real. It’s perceived. We worry so much about worst-case scenarios and what people will think and how we will “make it work.” We get ourselves worked up until we’re effectively paralyzed with fear. Then, we rationalize our lack of action with damn good reasons why our dreams just won’t work. We find evidence to back it up. We find people who will co-sign our bullshit.
Quotes abound when it comes to dealing with the fearmonster:
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
You’ve heard them all, right?
Yet the fear persists, nagging you and sapping your strength one negative thought, excuse and setback at a time.
It’s not just you, by the way. I say this because I think we have this feeling that we’re alone in our fear, but the reality is we are all in this together. It’s true. The same exact fear dogs us all.
It boils down to the basic fear of not getting our needs met.
If you’re afraid of failure, it’s because you are afraid you won’t get your needs met.
If you’re afraid of rejection, it’s the same thing.
If you’re afraid you’ll waste your time, it’s also the very same fear.
Fear of what others think is a HUGE one, and it has it’s roots in the same fear. The fear that people will reject us. As humans, we have a need to be accepted and cared for. It’s basic shit. That fear of looking foolish or being rejected is POWERFUL, because it has us believing we will lose the love and respect of those around us if we fail. Or, if we do something unconventional or unpopular. Or, even if we succeed. Because there ARE people in our lives who will be uncomfortable with our success or our new ways of doing things. You can bet on it.
And, here’s the other part: Fear is damned uncomfortable. The yucky feeling in the pit of your gut. The tightness in the chest. The relentless thoughts running through your head. The only way to get relief is to distract yourself with something else, right?
So we come up with excuses and ingenious ways to put off what we’re afraid of.
It’s time to stop that shit.
That fear is not going to control you anymore. Say it!
I Won’t Let The Fear Control Me Anymore.
A few fear-busters for you to try:
Because we aren’t in this alone, one of the best ways to move past fear and come out the other side intact is to find either a mastermind group or an accountability partner. This alone will give you the push you need to make serious progress.
Next, if you are really struggling and you feel like no matter what you do you just can’t break through — find a coach. A coach is an investment, and is often what is necessary to break through to the next level. There are plenty of coaches out there, it’s just a matter of finding the right fit. Many coaches offer free discovery calls that will help you determine if they are the right coach for you.
Other useful tools include journaling, setting goals (write them down!) and rigorous self-care. You are far more likely to manage your fears if you’re taking good care of yourself. This means caring for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. This is because when you are practicing good self-care you are also giving yourself a powerful message that you can TRUST YOURSELF. This helps to combat the fear and uncertainty that you’re likely to feel when making decisions or taking that big leap.
Talk about it. WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE. This is a fine line thing. On the one hand, marinating in fears and going into broken-record mode about them is a sure way to really embed these fears in your psyche and cause them to expand, not shrink. This is especially true if you are sharing your fears with people who will confirm or encourage them.
At the same time, sharing your fears with caring, HEALTHY people in a supportive setting can take the power out of the fear. Keeping it up there in that brain of yours gives it plenty of room and a damp, dark place to grow. Shining a light on that fear can help you see that it isn’t quite the scary, hairy monster you thought it was.
So, choose your support wisely.
Now, Go Forth And Kick Ass. You’ve Got This!
Hey! You! Yes, you! If you’ve read this far, how about leaving me a comment? What do you think about fear? How do you get through it?
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Thanks for stopping by! Please leave me a comment, I would love to get to know you better! And if you think someone else could benefit from this, give it a share.
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