Fear. I wrote about it last week. It seems everywhere I turn I see or hear someone talking about fear, how it’s showing up in their life, and what it’s keeping them from.
I have some thoughts on dealing with fear.
Now, I realize that the only real way to deal with fear and move past it is to look it squarely in the eye and keep doing your damn thing. But the problem is it’s not always that easy.
If it was, you’d be doing that thing you want to do so badly. You’d be where you want to be.
How Can We Beat Fear?
You can’t ignore it. Remember the school bully? You couldn’t ignore her if you tried. So just pretending it isn’t there won’t work.
You have to acknowledge it. In some ways, embrace it.
But if you want to win the battle, you have to be ready. You have to have the proper tools and strategies. The following are some that I’ve found to be effective.
Yes, energy. You’ll need it. When you’re drained you’re vulnerable, and not in a good way. You don’t have the fire you need to fight the good fight. You’re weak, and fear knows it. Keeping your energy up is one way to keep fear on its toes. Which brings me to:
You’ve heard all about self-care and why it’s so important. You know self-care helps you keep your energy up and feel good and strong.
But that’s not all.
Self-care builds self-trust. And you HAVE to trust yourself. You have to build that intuition muscle and you have to believe it when it speaks to you.
The Universe has your back, and it speaks to you through other people and your own still, small voice. But when you are running yourself ragged and not taking care of yourself, you don’t hear that voice, and you start to doubt yourself. You doubt your gut instinct. You’re too tired to pick up on the clear but subtle signs that are put before you.
So that’s step one. Self-care. In another post I’ll talk more about the pillars of self-care, and talk about how even tiny things can build up to create good self-care habits.
Let’s Talk About Support
Support is crucial in the battle against fear! You gotta have your peeps to ride alongside you and crush that doubt and bust through that fear.
But you gotta have the RIGHT peeps. In my last post on fear, I talked about not turning to those who would co-sign your bullshit or encourage you to play it small and safe. This is important. You need people on your team who will raise you up and jump up and down when you win. They’ll scoop you up when you lose, then tell you flat-out you need to get back up on that horse. Choose your allies wisely.
Remember: Talking about your fears with the right people can take the power out of them. Talking about your fears with the wrong people can cause the added burden of shame, increased fear or other yucky stuff you got no time for.
A Little Compassion, Yeah?
I realize I’m talking like fear is the enemy, right? Because sometimes it feels like it. Fear holds us back, keeps us down and causes us to behave in a variety of unhealthy ways. Fear can affect how we eat, how we behave toward our loved ones and even contribute to things like substance abuse and abusive relationships. Fear is the root of much suffering.
It’s really just trying to be your friend. Fear is trying to save your ass. It doesn’t want you to get hurt. It doesn’t want you to get lost or be abandoned or look like an ass. It wants to keep you safe. It just doesn’t always know how or when to do it.
You may think you want fear to pack its shit and get out, but the reality is you DO need it to help you out in certain situations. That fear will help you get your ass moving when there is danger afoot. It will give you clear signals that tell you when something is wonky in your world or suspicious in your surroundings. It will keep you frosty as fuck when you need to act fast to save yourself or someone you love. Fear is your buddy in those situations. It just doesn’t know when it’s time to dial that shit back.
So, when you find that fear is creeping up on you, don’t ignore it. Don’t admonish or judge it. Acknowledge it with compassion and gratitude.
“Hey, I see you. Thank you SO much for trying to look out for me. I know you have my back. But for reals I GOT THIS.”
Coming at fear with compassion instead of judgement is another way to take the power out of it without rejecting or stuffing it down.
“You’re Going To Feel A Little Discomfort”
Yeah, right doc. Ever been sold that line of shit? A little discomfort?
I don’t know about you but I’ve gone to some pretty great lengths to avoid discomfort. In fact, some of my most monumentally bad decisions over the years were made in the vain attempt to avoid discomfort.
That discomfort sucks. And it’s the one thing you can’t cheat your way out of. You can procrastinate, putting it off till a “better” or more opportune time. But that time is now, isn’t it?
Yep, discomfort is a whole ‘nother ball game, and deserves it’s very own post.
Next week, I’ll be back with another post about Busting Fear. I will talk about some strategies for coping with discomfort so it doesn’t stop you from taking action. I will also be posting about self-care this week, and talking about the core pillars of self-care, as well as easy self-care habits you can practice in 5 minutes or less!
Until then, keep swimming!
Thanks for stopping by! Please leave me a comment, I would love to get to know you better! And if you think someone else could benefit from this, give it a share.
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